


The Lure Of The Spotlight

by ovijiaboardz



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dreams, Gen, Internal Conflict, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-14 13:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20601878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ovijiaboardz/pseuds/ovijiaboardz
Summary: Ever since she was little, Eli’s dreamed of the stage.





	The Lure Of The Spotlight

**Author's Note:**

> A/N; I have an irl friend who dislikes Eli based off her portrayal in the beginning of season one. This inspired me 2 write smth further exploring her character/behavior, and what could be behind it! This is based around a lot of headcanons, and it’s written a little messy - but I hope you like it regardless!

Ever since she was a little girl, Eli Ayase dreamed of the stage. She admired performers of all kinds, and aspired to be like them - a smiling, shining star on a stage. She took ballet, up early in the morning and late at night practicing. While the rest of the house slept, she’d awake, the tiny girl would plug in the speakers and getting in her first position. She had her eyes on the upcoming ballet recital, one where they only accepted the best of the best. 

For weeks, the recital became the only thing she thought about. What if you don’t make it? People would ask, to her annoyance. What if they don’t accept you, or you only get a small role? She ignored these comments, because she had to get in. There was no ‘if.’ She didn’t even want to consider her hard work going to waste. Not after she’s practiced for months, focused everything around it. The dreams of the stage was her push, it was her drive. 

That was all crushed.

She danced her heart out on that stage, the women with their clipboards watching critically, shaking their heads in disapproval. It’s not like she didn’t notice - she still danced with her all, flowing with the music, not stopping until the lady in the jacket walked up onto the stage herself, gently taking her hand and shaking her head. She apologized, and Eli felt her heart sink. She didn’t make it. Her audition was rejected, everything she worked so hard for went for nothing.

That memory, the humiliation and that awful feeling she got back then followed the student council president. So when she watched Honoka Kosaka stand on that stage with her two friends, singing their hearts out to an empty auditorium, it hit uncomfortably close to home. She felt the same old pang seeing them standing alone, seeing the ginger tear up, but she truly didn’t understand just why they sang on anyway. It’s not like the auditorium was completely empty - there were a few 

people scattered here and there, mainly underclassmen who seemed… inspired?

Her hands quivered as she held the recording camera, but she held a stiff expression. She tried to stay out of sight, but it was too late. Nozomi caught a brief glance, much to her dismay, and she gave her that grin. It was a smug, knowing smile, as if Nozomi knew what was going to happen, as if she knew much more than she let on, as if she had something planned. 

Her family had traveled abroad from Russia, and her little sister was amazing by everything Japanese. When she heard about the idols, the young starry eyed girl told Eli she wanted to be just like that, showing her A-Rise’s private wars music video with a big smile on her face. Naturally, when she heard Eli’s own high school may get its own idols, she was thrilled and wanted a recording. Eli loves her little sister, but she was beginning to wish she had just refused.

“What is it you find so appealing about them anyway?” She had asked, watching A-Rise critically. “They’re amateurs… sure, they can sing, but their dancing is hardly impressive. 

“Well no,” she answered. “Of course it isn’t, it’s nothing like yours. It isn’t really about that, it’s more about the way they make you feel! Watching their performance inspires me, it touches my heart and makes me happy!” 

Up until this point, she was skeptical about these girls, and her opinion remained unswayed, even after they surprised her that night. They’d fix their heart on it, and it’d crush them when they failed. Not only that - but it’d make the school which was her responsibility to save - look like a joke. Everyone would focus on the flopped school idols and overlook its history, student body, activities and other qualities. She couldn’t allow that to happen, no matter how many times she had to reject them. 

She gave them the same answer every time, refusing to allow them to represent the school in such light. She knew and understood firsthand the humiliation that came with your dreams that you’ve invested so much time in being for nothing, crushed.

One day, a first year witnessed this firsthand. After the girls left, she stormed up to the president, ignoring honorifics and the older girl’s authority. “Why are you being such a jerk to them!” She exclaimed, frustrated. “They’ve been working so hard, and their music is amazing! What’s your damage, President?”

Eli stopped in her tracks to face her, the first year who watched the whole thing go down. “This doesn’t concern you,” she insisted firmly, trying to stay calm. She brushed them away, closing the door to her office behind her. They didn’t appear angry, moreso hurt and a part of her couldn’t leave it alone. So what if she seemed mean, she wanted the best for the school. She remembered the condescending look on her dance teachers face and stiffed. School idols were amateurs. They’d only fail and make the school look bad, she was sure of it! 

Not only would it put the school in a bad light, but it would  _ crush  _ them and she knew it damn well. A part of her felt it was her responsibility to spare them that. She wouldn’t wish that kind of feeling on anyone.

“They’re not giving up, Elicchi,” she heard Nozomi saying. She reached into her deck and pulled out a card, nodding at it and turning it around for Eli to see. “Knight Of Wands,” she read. The card had an illustration of a Knight with a yellow robe on over his armor riding on a horse, a long tree branch in his hand. 

She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. There was something so ominous about Nozomi’s deck of cards - the one she drew was always a solution, they always offered good advice. Nozomi’s magick that she takes in interest in is often set aside as a pseudoscience, a fraud, but Eli was convinced that it was just as the name suggested. Witchcraft, a craft, an art. There was nothing wrong with that at all. All these spiritual, magical and paranormal things made the Vice President happy, so Eli didn’t mind it one bit.

However, she was sure there was no real solution, no right or wrong way to handle it.

“It represents bravery, enthusiam and energy,” Nozomi said. “In Elicchi’s case, she needs to be honest with herself. What do you want? Can you admit your true feelings? You’ll have to look in the mirror and ask yourself that, facing your true feelings. Not the action the student council President should take - no, what Elicchi wants.”

Eli wanted to join them. The fuse in her heart that was lit by all the performers she loved as a kid hasn’t defused, not at all. Honoka’s passion, her drive, her recklessness - hell,  _ especially  _ her recklessness motivated Eli. 

Was being an idol right for her? Of course not, dancing around on a stage would be embarrassing, not just to her but to her family. Her grandmother. 

That’s when they asked her to help them dance. The girls were so determined to learn and grow from her teachings that they didn’t seem to mind how she acted in the past. ‍‍That’s when Nozomi caught on.

“It’s never too late, Elicchi.”


End file.
